Humor Quotes and Quotations
-
Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
J. R. R. Tolkien
-
Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days.
Flannery O'Connor
-
I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.
Flannery O'Connor
-
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.
Kurt Vonnegut
-
The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.
Kurt Vonnegut
-
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
Kurt Vonnegut
-
The funniest people are the saddest once.
Confucius
-
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Maya Angelou
-
Two rights don't equal a left.
Roald Dahl
-
I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
Roald Dahl
-
I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Roald Dahl
-
Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets.
Roald Dahl
-
Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
Roald Dahl
-
I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing.
Herman Melville
-
A smile is the chosen vehicle of all ambiguities.
Herman Melville
-
The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.
Arthur Miller
-
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
Coco Chanel
-
Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.
Alfred Hitchcock
-
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Alfred Hitchcock
-
I can't go on, I'll go on.
Samuel Beckett
