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Once a month, some women act like men act all the time.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
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There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.
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Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
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I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.
